I think the most difficult thing i've encountered in life so far would be the death of my nan in 2007.
I had just returned from a holiday in Mexico with my then boyfriend and was suffering from a terrible sickness bug/case of food poisoning so hadn't seen her for a few weeks. Something which i regret terribly now.
At the time, she shared a home with my dad and had herself been unwell for a few days so when he called for us (my sister and i) to go over as her health had deteriorated, we expected to find her tucked up in bed with the flu or something. Unfortunately this was not the case and almost as soon as we had arrived and walked in to her room, she let out one last breath and just like that she was gone.
Of course we called 999 and were instructed by operators to try resuscitation and CPR until paramedics arrived but despite my dad's attempts, i knew in my heart that she had already passed.
In a way i'm thankful as i feel like she was holding on until my sister and i got there so my dad wouldn't be alone but i wish more than anything that i'd got the chance to say goodbye and tell her how much i loved her.
She was a very special lady, with a heart of gold. She would go out of her way to help others and was so down to earth that you could talk to her about anything. It's been almost 5 years since she passed and i still miss her terribly. She would have doted on Riley and my niece also and i'm so disappointed that neither of them will ever get the opportunity to meet her.
I know she's at peace and watching over me but I don't think i'll ever fully accept that she's gone.